(cont'd from Purging Negative Money Memories Takes Time • Part 1)
A negative incident related to money can scar or even traumatize a child. Just because our body has aged chronologically, it doesn't mean the child has recovered from the incident. It could take days, but more often, it takes decades.
Here's the proof.
Lessons 9-22 from Purging 36 Negative Money Memories
To measure time, I used "We only needed" because the lesson needed its own time to gestate and be ready and I also needed my own time to gestate and be ready to learn it.
Negative Memory No. 9
X costing me massive, massive, massive amount of wasted time / energy / money before, during, and after the "divorce"
It lead to • Leaving the narcissistic fool with my chin up, my heart bigger than it ever was, and unleashing the courage to start my first business
We only needed • 7 months
Negative Memory No. 10
Feeling injustice that X's parents bought her a car and a condo
IT LEAD TO • Me buying my parents a car and put a down-payment on their townhouse
We only needed • 4 years + 7 months
Negative Memory No. 11
Mammoth stress of paying mortgage on my luxury condo by the beach, while building 3 new businesses at same time
It lead to • Stumbling upon AirBnB and making a ton of $$$$$ waaaay before most people even heard of it. It was so successful that I retired for 8 months in my 20's.
We only needed • 1 year + 8 months
Negative Memory No. 12
X having a massive nervous breakdown b/c one of my real-estate deals fell through. Almost lost $45,000.
It lead to • Massive research on heart math, emotional vibration and how to survive as an empath in this world (how not to absorb everyone's rage and anxiety when I'm a walking sponge). In the end, a friend of a friend helped me solve this problem. I got my $45,000 back. Phew.
We only needed • 6 months [the most nerve-wracking 6 months of my life!]
Negative Memory No. 13
Massive time / money / energy drain to arrange dad's estate / house for sale
IT LEAD TO • Trauma and PTSD healing through Somatic Experiencing (which my clients are all now benefiting from, because they too have been scarred by trauma, but just don't call it that)
We only needed • 4 months
Negative Memory No. 14
All the girls on Paris trip had spending money or their parents' credit card. I had nothing.
It lead to • Becoming THE most un-materialistic person I know. I can fit all my belongings in one 23kg suitcase
We only needed • 14 years + 2 months
Negative Memory No. 15
Borrowing $$,$$$ from X for down-payment on parents' house. Oh the shame.
IT LEAD TO • Embracing shame work and dissolving shame at The Daring Way with Brené Brown
We only needed • 9 years + 3 months
Negative Memory No. 16
Skipping 4 meals because lost my iPhone, thinking starving oneself is how I'm gonna make up for lost money
It lead to • Believing in miracles: my mobile company replaced my lost iPhone 6s at no extra charge and my bestfriend happened to be meeting me in Bali in 3 days time, so she hand-delivered it to me! What were the chances!?!
We only needed • 3 days
Negative Memory No. 17
Transferring $$$$ to relieve my family of financial crisis, wondering, "Wait, what?!? Shouldn't the parent be doing this for the child?"
It lead to • My family finally recognizing the time / money / energy I've put in over the decades as their perfect eldest son and finally said thank you for the first time ever! What a gift!!! What a day that was!!!
We only needed • 34 years and 2 months
Negative Memory No. 18
Walking contradiction: I want love, but I hate dating because it costs so much time / money / energy / mental space
It lead to • Grandma passing away 8 minutes before the launch of one of my businesses, which flipped my priorities upside down. I hired a relationship coach to get me unjaded from narcissistic, chauvanistic, and sociopathic boys.
We only needed • 9 years and 6 months
Negative Memory No. 19
Feeling injustice that each brother got a family car. Where's my free car?
It lead to • (No answer yet... Still kinda resentful.)
We only needed • ? years and ? months
Negative Memory No. 20
Not buying software/apps that I needed for business, wasted ENORMOUS amounts of time fidgeting with free apps that don't synchronize with each other. Sigh.
It lead to • A nervous breakdown and a business systems breakdown. When the pain and chaos finally got too much, I caved and bought all the tools I needed for $400/year. I was making $80,000/year at the time. I can't believe I could have spared myself a nervous breakdown and existential crisis for a mere $400 (0.5% investment of my profits).
We only needed • 5 years + 5 months [F*ckers!]
Negative Memory No. 21
The Daring Way supervision calls felt like $ drain. I don't need psychotherapy! I'm doing this just to get certified.
It lead to • LOL! OMG did I ever need psychotherapy!! I come from coaching / peak performance world. Never knew how much therapy I needed until I received it. I was finally able to admit and unpack my biggest secret. What a glorious relief that was!!!
We only needed • 11 months
Negative Memory No. 22
No candy to take to kindergarten to swap with other kids. Was ostracized.
IT LEAD TO • (No answer yet... Still feeling ostracized.)
We only needed • ? years + ? months
Money Purge photo courtesy of Lisa