Clients and I laugh and cry together all the time about all the things "they" didn't teach us in school.
For example, I took Calculus I, II, III, and IV, but school never taught us financial planning or investing. I took advanced organic chemistry, but school never taught us nutrition or healthy eating. I took advanced English and writing, but school never taught us about human connectedness and how to build lasting relationships.
Nasilai, Fiji 2003 © Ellany Lea
Once out of an academic setting, our education doesn't just stop. I had to hire coaches and mentors to teach me the most valuable things in life: love, fulfillpment, purpose and joy.
Here's what I wish my parents would have told me at 21! But since they couldn't, I'm re-parenting myself now with a letter to my 21-year old self.
Dear 21-year old Ella,
This is the year you developed resilience and intuition. You sooo desperately wanted to quit your electrical engineering program from a top-notch college such as McGill University, but decided not to because you discovered your clairvoyance.
With two years under your belt, you KNEW in your bones how many doors this degree would open... even if it meant another 2 soul sucking years of blood, sweat, and tears. You sucked it up, you persisted, you got back up every time you fell. You don't know it yet, but in 4 years, you'll be living in NYC, working at your dream job because of this piece of paper.
You vowed to yourself after these 2 years to never capitulate again to soul-sucking circumstances, jobs or people. Well, I hate to break it to you, but you WILL break this vow. Not over and over, but just enough times to realize that you have you've been a doormat your entire life, letting everyone wipe their feet on you.
You spent your every waking (and sleeping) hour pleasing others, being everything to everyone, everywhere, all the time. You also spent the last 7 years under the mammoth weight of other people's expectations that you have no idea who you are anymore.
You will armor up against failure, rejection, and hurt, just to live up to everyone else's expectations. Sadly, you will also armor up against... love. More on this later.
The good news is: it DOES get better. Waaaaay better! Keep your chin up. You are not alone. There are plenty of women overachievers just like you, holding on for dear life, trying to be the best man they can be. Just hold on long enough to find each other. The world would be devastated if it lost you. You just don't know this yet.
Show life who's boss
Unfair things happen all the time on the entrepreneurial road. Things break. We break. Things go wrong. We go nuts. Businesses die. People die. Every time life knocks you down, calmly get up and say, "You hit like a sissy." Show life who's boss!